Vietnam 1992: Cyclo Racing Is Not For The Faint Of Heart 💚 Complete Story

My brother Paul, best friend Richard and new travel acquaintance Chris were well on our way to a good drunk (oh yes we already had an excellent meal) Hue has several famous restaurants but my favorite is Lac Thien.  They make a sort of crepe (banh khoai) out of rice flower that is out of this world. There stuffed full of shrimp, bean sprouts and eaten with greens, star fruit and a thick brown dipping sauce made with peanuts, sesame seeds and spices. Its family ran and it just so happens that the whole family is death and dumb.

Well it was getting late and being the competitive guys that we are we decided we should race back to our hotel. But it was close to two miles back to our hotel and we were smart enough to know we could never run that far in the state were in. So we decide to flag down some cyclo’s and have them race with us in the back. A cyclo is essentially a rickshaw but instead of a man pulling it on foot it’s hooked to a bicycle. (This is the 20^th century you know) Well as late as it was we could only flag down 3 cyclos. Paul and Chris had there own so Richard and I had to share one. It took as a while but we made the drivers understand that the first one who made it back to the hotel would not only get the agreed upon fare but also a rather Large tip for winning. (Large is a relative term!) We’re off and damn if were not in the lead, our driver was crazy weaving in and out of traffic, cutting through busy intersections Richard and I were laughing our asses off. But then we came to the bridge that crosses the Perfume river (it smelt like shit to me). We started up the hill; our driver was loosing ground quickly. First Paul then Chris passes us, we were falling further and further behind. Thinking quickly (well as quickly as you can when your drunk) I jumped out of my seat, got behind our cyclo and started to push. Faster and Faster I ran. We were gaining on them, and then blowing past Chris and then Paul. With our driver peddling, my legs were going as fast as they could. Richard looks over at me and yells “get in all spell you” “no Richard stay put” I grabbed hold of the side rail and jumped for the seat but just as my feet left the ground Richard jumped out on the other side.

The cyclo driver lost control and swerved hard right. Richards’s feet hit the ground; no way he could stay on them. He tumbled ass over end while I find my self flying through the air in a sitting position, Bam landing hard on my butt. Bouncing along on my ass I see the cyclo run over Richard, the driver jumping off because the cyclo looked like it was going to jump the rail and end up the river. No it hangs up in the guardrail which is a good thing because they run the electrical power wires just over the railing. I look over at Richard he is covered in scummy mud, his hand and elbow scraped up and bleeding, my ass hurts and I’m sure covered with road rash. The driver is the only one unscathed and looks like he’s not sure whether to laugh or not but starts anyway. Richard looks at me and starts laughing. I’m frowning. “What’s wrong Bruce you hurt”? Well it doesn’t hurt too much now but Richard we lost the race. “Well Bruce, its nothing another beer wont cure besides now you know Cyclo racing is not for the faint of heart. Were all laughing as getting back in the cyclo we head for home.