Richard and I are walking the crowed side streets of Pattaya Beach. We’d been in and out of probably more than half dozen bars and we were well on are way to a major drunk. “This one looks good let’s check it out Richard” A slender Thai man had just handed me a flier with a list of the shows inside. Glancing at it I had saw Banana Show, Dildo Show, Girl Girl show etc. The outside of the club was made up to look like an old roman building, the big sign above the door read Caligula Club.
Walking in we found a seat at the bar; it ran down the center of the establishment and doubled as the stage. Richard ordered us a couple of Singha beers, “drink these slow they were 70 baht each” (almost 3 dollars a piece). From behind a curtain a naked girl walks out then climbs on the bar, the music starts to blare. She lies down face first right in front of us and starts to slam her pussy up and down on the wooden surface. I’m looking at the flyer “what show is this”?
Before Richard could say a word, she rolls over spreading her legs wide, and without touching herself, her pussy opens up over an inch. Then she reaches down pulls on a string that’s hanging out, and out comes a double edge razor blade. Then promptly roles back over, humps the bar and does the whole thing over again. By the time she’s through theirs 6 blades hanging between her legs and to show there still sharp she shaves a little off a couple of finger nails. In the next show a thin Thai girl walks onto the bar stand over Richards beer looks at him and smiles, something white pops out of her pussy, splash there’s a ping pong ball right in his half drank beer. Everyone is laughing as she reaches down and removes the ball from his glass. She puts the ball back in her pussy and heads towards me. I’m laughing but cover my beer with my hand (wasn’t worried about the girl but who knows where Richards mouth has been) so she moved on the next farang.
Well Richard must have had a Vietnam flash back (he’d been a rowdy sailor patrolling the coast during the war) because the next thing I know he’s lying on his back on the bar, mouth open. The crowds cheering as the girl straddles his face, she reloads, there’s a thump as it shoots out. Swish right in his mouth! Everyone’s clapping. Richard not to be out done spits the ball high in the air and grabs it with his right hand. It explodes, clear liquid and yellow slime flies all over Richards face. “What the Fuck” the place is going wild. The girl had used a raw egg instead of a ping-pong ball! Well beers finished, egg on Richards face, laughing our Asses off, we head out to find a bar with cheaper beers. Yes, the story gets wilder but you will have to wait for my book.
Master Traveler 
0 comments on “Thailand 1986: Just Another Night In Paradise”